The Prodigal's Brother

An Elder and Board member of a church wronged two new members (a husband and wife) in some petty little power play between him and another couple over a church building issue.  We'll call him "Kevin" (not his real name).  Then when confronted, he pretended great repentance and a resignation of his titles, only to be playing and buying time.  He then did not resign his titles after all, but flipped the narrative around so that it was the new couple in the wrong, while he had - at most - mildly spoke out of turn in a fashion no doubt misunderstood.

Thus those two new members are the baddies who needed counseling on how to forgive and be Christ-like, and he and his non-believer wife are the ones who remain seated in their High Places, doing great imitations of Whited Sepulchres.

Now, as any who've said the Lord's prayer know, we are to forgive, and no matter what, even if those who wronged us are not saying they are sorry, or even if they are sorry at all.  This is a commandment, and we cannot have forgiveness of our Father in Heaven if we do not extend it to others ourselves.

This man, for instance, is not sorry to that new couple in the least, but he is willing to "express sorrow" to the other couple for any "misunderstandings", with clearly - and obviously - the new couple getting to star as the real culprits who "misunderstood".  Thus he's the hero of the narrative who was willing to resign, but "reluctantly" was persuaded to come back.  And two new members are the villains who by their stupidity created trouble where none was meant.

Viewed dispassionately, I can even admire it.  Like some kind of Jeopardy category of "'Machiavellian Machinations' for $500, Alex".  Where the answer is "Be like Elder Kevin" and the question is, "How can one be a lying, gossiping, dissension-sowing viper?"

Clearly this Elder doesn't update his status very often.
But what a last entry to have left in place for all to see.
How well that represents the church and Adventism.

But those two new members have been counseled to forgive the man who is not sorry, and to illustrate this principle of why they are to forgive anyway, we have the Parable of the Prodigal Son.

Most people in their lives have heard of the Parable of the Prodigal Son.  The son who asked for his inheritance early, then went and squandered it all in sinful living, then broke and starving, realized that even being the least servant in his father's household would be better than dying alone.

So he goes back, but "while he was yet far off", his father saw him and commanded that the fatted calf be slaughtered, and that everyone have a big party and make merry.  He had the best robes and jewels put on his returned son, and a good time was had by all.

Well, except for the brother.  The Prodigal Son's brother.  He complained to the father about how a fatted calf had never been killed for him, etc., etc..

But the father tried to soothe the son, and explain, saying, "Son, you are always with me, and all that I have is yours, but this your brother was lost and believed dead, but now is found, so it is fitting to celebrate."

Now, most Christians do understand the truth of that Parable.  Certainly the couple who were newly baptized into that church did.  They understood and agreed with it.  And even understood the underlying justice beyond the mercy. Wherein all really have sinned and fell short of the glory of God and so to be worried about the Prodigal Son being forgave would be a bit hypocritical as there are none of us perfect, no not one!

Yet sometimes this story gets abused, and even long term Christians can then wonder at it, and even make the mistake of thinking that there is either a theological flaw in the story - or a spiritual flaw in themselves for not accepting it.

When in reality, it sometimes is a flaw not in the story or the hearer, but in the teller misapplying the story, like if the story is told for the wrong reasons or a situation that is not the same.

Let's be clear about that Parable.  There are several aspects to it often overlooked when the Parable is being abused.  For instance, that the Prodigal Son is admitting that he has sinned, and that he is sorry he sinned, and that he wants to sin no more.  It is not the story of a kid who sinned, came home, lied about sinning and blamed the "misunderstanding" on his brother, and then expected to still be one of the Masters of the House.

Taking what happened to this abused new couple, the counsel as gave to them was - falsely applied - going like this:  That the man who harmed them is the Prodigal Son, the Church is the Father, and they are the brother of the Prodigal Son. The poor guy may have sinned, but he's sorry, and now he's back, so they must rejoice that he who was lost is now found.

And put like that, who could be upset or worried?  Certainly the new couple would not be.

Yet the reality falls a bit short.

The reality is that this "Prodigal Son" has donated much money to the church in the past, tithes now, and is expected to give even more upon his death.  And he's in his eighties.  He's not "returning" as he never truly left in the first place.  He is not sorry, for as far as he is concerned, he has not done anything to be sorry for.  He is needing his brother in the field to be counseled on how to stop misunderstanding him. And he needs to retain his titles of Mastery over the House he's harmed.

Never minding all the Biblical verses that speak of Elders and leaders needing to be "blameless" and beyond reproach.  Not given to gossip and murmuring and dissension sowing.  Not lying or verbally abusing.

The two new members are not the only "brothers" of this Prodigal Son involved.  The other brothers, similarly sinned against, also get the story told to them of forgiveness so that the man who never truly repents but only re-offends year after year, can continue to hold his titles, while everyone else can learn, re-learn, and learn again, the joys of forgiveness.

And worse, this wealthy Elder runs off potential new members - possible brothers - by this and his other unrepentant sinnings.  His pro-LBGTQ stances that he even takes into the pulpit itself.  His wife's persistent proclaiming of her disagreement with church doctrine and teachings.  Her slanders of Ellen White.  His lies and pretended offers of jobs and contracts if non-members will join and vote on a building issue as he wishes.

It would be difficult to compute how many potential members have been deterred from joining and how many actual members have fallen away due to his persistent "work" in driving others off.  Sadly, any calculations would not only have to take into account his direct sinning against others, but the failure of the leadership to in any way rein him in.

In giving him free rein, over and over again, it thus gives the appearance that the church "sells indulgences", so that if you are rich, you may do as you please and be rewarded with leadership positions, but if you are not rich, you must shut up and learn to forgive.

Learning to forgive is a good lesson, of course - but if the Great Commission is the goal, then this probably is not the best way of teaching that lesson.  At least, I never saw it advised by Paul in the Bible that church leaders like this "Kevin" were to sin against the members, so that the members might learn forgiveness!

The lesson to be learned from all this is that sometimes the Prodigal Brother is right to be upset.  Not because the Parable is wrong, but because not everyone called a "Prodigal Son" really deserves that title.  A "Prodigal Son" may be any number of things, but he at the least - to have the title - must be repentant and contrite.  And so an unrepentant leader gone bad who perpetually harms the very flock he should have cared for cannot - with respect for truth - be called a "Prodigal Son".

"Kevin" is worth forgiving, for the Lord's sake if not his.  But he is not worthy of any fatted calf in the form of titles, honors and glory.

And if we care for new members, then we should not be giving them the task of providing such fatted calves for the very leaders who abuse them.  Nor for that matter, should the long suffering long term members be called upon to do so.