Example: Elder Kevin (not his real name) insults a guy's mother. It was done in a way to try to make a new member couple stop being the guy's friend, and thus maybe not vote that guy's way at an upcoming Business Meeting on how to spend building funds.
That Elder who did that pretended to resign from everything till the "leadership" begged him to return. Members who complained about that type of horse crap? Counseled on how they complained at the wrong time and place, they were un-Christ-like, and needed to forgive.
Example: Elder Kevin, (still not his real name), cost the church $30,000 and more on doing stuff he had been told not to do. No consequences, of course. At a Business Meeting he calmly proposed on another matter that a church member - who had done no wrong - be held accountable for a contractor costing the church money. Why? Because the member signed the contract that the Church Board - including this Elder - had said to sign.
Example: Elder Kevin, yeah, he's the recurring theme here, had his wife help drive off a visitor and potential new member by deciding to mouth off at a Bible Study about how Ellen White was wrong and not inspired and not a Prophetess at all. But that was okay, he was busy lying to other visitors, telling them that if they joined and voted the correct way, he could get them jobs on that building project he was pushing the church to do.
Consequences? Please. When the members complained, they were told to stop being un-Christ-like and to forgive.
Example: A Board member wants to lie at a meeting and then silence a member who calls him on it. The Head Elder backs him in this, so do some other Board members. Another Board member lies about a guy's wife. Another Board member insults another's child. Several Board members insult each other, and this is a routine that has gone on for years before a new guy (me) joined and watched it continue on, with dozens of examples available to cite over the past six months.
Consequences? Oh, when the Business Meeting was called, the Head Elder who lets Elder Kevin savage the flock as he pleases turned over the meeting to another "Leader" who then gave we lowly members a disgustingly condescending slide show about children in the sandbox and how those naughty children should not argue with each other.
Really. Hard to believe, I know. But 31 adults, including a non-member, got to watch "leadership" give a smarmy lecture on how we needed to behave. I guess we should be grateful they "let" us have a Business Meeting at all, huh?
It was tempting to get up and say, "If the mommies and daddies neglecting those kids in the sandbox weren't fighting so loudly in front of them, then maybe those poor kids could learn by example." Or better, to quote the old drug commercial, where the hypocritical father demands of his son, "Who taught you to do this?" and the kid says, "You, okay?! I learned it from watching you!"
But then comes the hilarity of some of the members posting complaints on social media, not naming names, but describing their pain and frustration of having to deal with this nonsense. And then it's said that this should not be done.
Why?
Because it might put the church in a bad light!
lol
Yeah, that's pretty darkly hilarious! The entire leadership at each other's throats for four plus years, that's okay. Driving off visitors, insulting new members and lying about them, insulting each other and lying about each other, all that's okay. Let's all listen to the Chief Elder talk about forgiveness for the 18,393rd time!
But mentioning it? Oh, me oh my and mercy me! That's making the church look ugly!
Here's a news flash: The leaders in the church being ugly and tolerating ugliness, it is THAT and ONLY THAT which makes the church look ugly. No visitor drove off with leader lies, no new member harassed and being lied about needed to glance at social media to see - and FEEL - that ugliness.
Any leader out there then - and there are good ones - needs to reflect that sometimes being a good guy or good gal is not enough. To be a good LEADER means you actually have to rein the bad leaders in. That when you see something, you must say something, and do something.
Oh, I've heard the leadership whines. The very ones who insultingly speak to us as if we are kiddies in a sandbox. "Oh, we don't get paid!" and "Oh, we're just volunteers!" and "Oh, it was my best!". As I've remarked elsewhere, when you're running an agency dealing with hundreds of thousands of dollars of other people's money, that just doesn't cut it.
If not getting paid - other than in honor and pride and position and authority - is a problem, quit. If serving Christ's church on a "volunteer" basis is not sufficient, quit. And if this what is clearly able to be seen - and without logging on to facebook - is what is your "best", then heaven help us all, but please, again, quit.
Part of my own anger on this mess is that I run a charitable agency and have no salary. It never would have crossed my mind to fail the men I serve as miserably as I have seen "leadership" do, and then try to fob them off with "Oh, I'm not paid!" or "Oh, it was my best!"
I remember once, to take but a single example, of when the refrigerator at a sober living home broke. I knew I could get another, but it might take a week. I took them a refrigerator at once - and my wife and I made do without one for that week. Did they know? No.
Because it was my job to DO, not to whine. To get it done, not to foist off the consequences to them.
Here's a thought for our leaders who aren't getting paid - we members aren't either. We are, in fact, the ones called to pay. Here's a thought for our leaders who want us to behave - behave yourselves! Here's a thought for leaders who know all about giving little lectures to those who need to apologize - apologize for your own sins, that would be sufficient, then later, in a state that more closely approximates anything resembling grace, you may then worry about counseling us!
And here's a thought for those who don't like reading of dirt in social media - go tell the dirt spewers to stop spewing dirt! No dirt means no dirt to display, funny how that works, huh?
And a final thought for those concerned about the church looking ugly? It is those who do the ugliness - and you who do nothing about it - that make the church look ugly.
Not the member victims who complain on their own social media, using no names!
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