I knew what would happen - heck, we've all see what happens. The anger. The sadness. The remonstrations and exhortations. The lectures. And of course, everyone seems to think you did this as some kind of personal affront to them!
Like I chose to be a drunkard, rather than having been born that way like the media and the schools taught me was true! I was born to be a drunkard, and no out of context writings of a few thousand years ago were going to hold me down any more!
"How could you do this to us?" is a question your parents will ask. As will your brother, your uncles and aunts, heck, everyone in your family. Like you woke up all mad at them and decided this would be a great way to get back at them!
It's also the question your pastor will ask. Like you're doing this only to tear down the church. Your pastor will not believe, and nor at first will your parents, that coming out is a brave and courageous decision, that was only done after much prayer and study.
For me, I decided to come out when I knew, deep in my heart, that this was who I was, and that God loved me anyway! So I took out my hip flask, took a healthy swig of Jack Daniels, and looking my dad straight in the eye at the tender age of 17 said, "Dad, I'm a drunkard!"
 |
| I almost called them into the bathroom, but I thought the living room would be more formal. You're welcome. |
My dad only looked grim, not so my dear mother who shrieked and swooned. I thought she'd faint, but she only collapsed in the chair and started moaning, "No, no, no..." over and over.
Having had the loving support of fellow Christian Drunkards I had met online - older drunkards more experienced in this matter who could guide and aid me in this process - I assured them that it would be okay. That there really was nothing in the Bible against anyone being a drunkard, it wasn't really a sin, I could still be - and was - a believing Christian who trusted the literal word of the Bible.
My mean brother laughed and said I was an idiot. I took another swig to keep my courage.
I reminded my family that there was a difference between just getting drunk at parties (something that I agree Jesus wouldn't like!) as opposed to the deep and daily commitment that people like me have towards drinking. Drinking is the first thing on my mind in the morning, and the last thing on it before I go to sleep, there's nothing casual about it!
My dad looked like he was going to blow up. He told me in a low voice through clenched teeth that this would not stand, that no son of his was going to be a drunkard, that he was going to send me to AA to have me get the help I needed.
I told him that I didn't need any help, that being a drunkard was who I was, and Christ made me like that, and loved me just the way I am. My dad shook his head and cited the verse in the Old Testament about how wine is a mocker and strong drink is raging. I told him as the older drunkards I met online had taught me, that the verse was took out of context.
He read me the story of Noah getting drunk, and I told him that it had nothing to do with being a drunkard, the sin was only in the son looking upon the father's nakedness. Looking grimmer, he reminded me of Lot's daughters. Needless to say, it went a bit down hill from there, and to this day my sisters won't speak to me!
Finally mom spoke up and asked about what the Apostle Paul said? About how in 1 Corinthians 5:11 Paul had warned about being a fornicator or an idolater or a drunkard! But I said that the Greek word used meant only about the imbibing of fermented grape juice, while I studiously only drank beer and the hard liquors! I was asked about Ephesians 5:18, but reminded them that it was out of context.
My brother, out of meanness and spite, piped up to ask if anything in the Bible that could correct anyone's behavior was ever "in" context. I took another swig of my Jack and ignored him with dignity.
I reminded my parents that many modern churches had come to accept drunkards as fellow Christians. That Christ was all about love, and who were they to judge me for drinking so frequently and so copiously. They kept speaking of sin, but I kept educating them about how this was a genetic thing, that I didn't choose to be a drunkard, I was born this way, like grandma had been!
They spoke of free will, but I said I would not abuse my free agency by giving up something so natural to me as getting drunk. That God did not intend that I suffer a whole lifetime without the alcohol my body craved. Mom cried some more. Dad told me that I no longer could drive his car. He also told me that I was going to go to AA, and that bothered me. Even though I knew that AA was not a sure fire cure, but just a way for parents and church to try to "drum the rum" out of those of us who were proud drunkards!
Places where they tried to shame you into being someone you aren't! I knew if I just sat in those AA meetings and ignored them, that soon enough I'd be 18 and free, and could live my life openly, as a drunkard, and fulfill my dream!
I told them of my dream, too, but they mocked and scorned me for it. I told them that I felt called of God to be a Minister. They tried to quash my dream by pointing out that I could hardly be an active and unrepentant drunkard while preaching the gospel that forbade being such!
I reminded them again that those verses either didn't apply, were out of context, or the Greek word meant whatever it had to mean for me to still drink. Whichever. I hiccoughed at that point, then missed the coffee table when I tried to set my hip flask down. Darn carpet, hard to walk strai - strai, well, hard to walk! Which they know and never care about! Like no one ever cares about what I need!
Where wuz I? Oh, yes, my natural inclinationsh being no bar to my dreamsh! That I sure as heck fire would be minister, that it was my right, and if the chursh dint like it, they could lump it! No, no, I kid, I didn't say they could lump it, I said we would all, all the drunkards, and friends of drunkards, all the LBGTQ (Libations, Beer, Gin, Tonic and Quart drinkers) would just convert doze churshes so that we'd be runnin' dem, not duddy, er, dud, no, I mean no fuddy daddies like dud - no, ha, ha, I mean no fuddy duddies like dad would be runnin' tings!
Ish not hish chursh! Ish my chursh too! I can too be a drunkard Chrishun! I will be un! Wash and see!
Ahh, my friends! That was my coming out 20 years ago, I read it verbatim from the transcript of the recording that my pesky brother made on his iPhone in an attempt to out me with others! How embarrassed I could still get back then, every time evidence of me getting drunk was brought to me, before I had full come to terms with my drunkard status and realized that it really was okay to be Drunkard and Christian!
That's why I'm proud to accept my appointment today as your new Pastor, standing here in the pulpit, my trusted Bible in my left hand, and my even more trusted bottle of Guinness Cream Stout in my right hand! I raise this bottle to you now, but also to me for my achieving my dream!
I'm here! I'm drinkin' beer! Get used to it!
As we would chant in our Drunkard Pride Parades!
Now, for my first sermon, I'd like to share with you the story of a dear friend of mine, unfairly defrocked and ostracized from the church for his habit - that he was born with and in no way chose - of stealing. Did you know that in the original Hebrew, that "stealing" didn't really mean "stealing"?
And besides, that whole "Thou shalt not steal" thing is always took out of context!
*************************************************************************
The above was obviously satirical. But don't let any homosexual activist fool you - being gay is in no way different from being a drunkard. I don't actually think most of them are born that way, I think it comes from mal-imprinting and other mostly environmental factors. No, I don't think they specifically choose it, but I do think that it can be overcome.
And never be fooled by that false choice of "Were they born that way, or are you saying they chose it!?" Obviously no one consciously chooses it - but that's not the same as they being born with it. This false choice offered you forgets the third and true option of "I think that whatever inclinations they were or were not born with, that some environmental influences led them to this orientation."
Now, regardless as to any genetic aspect of homosexuality, there is also a wide belief in a genetic component to being an alcoholic - certainly we see various families and ethnic groups that seem to have higher proportions of alcoholics. Yet there are also plenty of environmental factors, and as natural as it feels to drink, it can be overcome with prayer and fellowship with good Christians and with the various aids that one can find in programs like AA.
Hard to stop drinking? Yes, as I well know. Impossible? No, as my own recovery is evidence of.
It is common to make a joke out of the places that seek to "pray the gay" away, and I have no doubt that if we reviewed each of those programs that we'd probably find three stupid programs - where their hearts were in the right place, but the education and training were somewhat lacking - for every real one with counselors with actual degrees in relevant fields from accredited colleges.
And yet the concept is valid, and while it is hard - as hard as it is to stop drinking or drugging - one can re-orient oneself to an attraction to the opposite sex. Don't believe that? Well, it's obvious when you think about it - how often in the old days, when heterosexual men were placed aboard wind powered wooden ships in the Navy of the 1500s to 1800s did they "turn gay" for companionship and sexual relief, there being no women available?
How often do we see this in our men only prisons even today? The scary thing about prisons is not so much the rape - but how after a few years, it may not be as much "rape" as the ex-con might want you to believe.
People may well be born with various sexual inclinations. Inclinations, though, not commands. And the liberals who feel that gender is endlessly fluid so that a man can "really" be a woman or a woman "really" a man depending on how they feel and think, should not then be surprised to hear that a heterosexual man can go gay if deprived of women, or a homosexual man go straight if he voluntarily undergoes some intensive re-orientation therapy.
But while I'd never "make" anyone take such a program, any more than I'd make a drunkard go to an AA meeting, churches - all churches - should uphold the standards wrote down of old.
One may be inclined to homosexuality. One may be inclined to be a drunkard. One may be inclined to be a fornicator. Or an adulterer. Or a thief. Or a murderer.
Being inclined is free. But if one is to be a Christian, a real, no nonsense "wants to walk in Christ's footsteps" Christian, then part of that is knowing that there are rules to now be followed. Such as not killing. Or stealing. Or having sex outside of marriage.
Or being a drunkard - like I was until I repented. Because I knew that it was I who had to change, not God, not Christ, not the Bible, and not the church.
Or, and this is the point, if any are inclined to be homosexual. Being inclined to that is free - but if any suffer that, they need to be told that it is they who need to repent of that and change. It is not on God or Jesus or the Bible or the church to change.
No comments:
Post a Comment